Oscar night is Hollywood’s big chance to come together to celebrate each others’ achievements, strut around in a million dollars worth of gowns and tuxedos, show the world how elitists rule our society and then get together for a drug-filled night of partying and debauchery afterward. This year, on the orders of our president, Hollywood would pay for sticking its nose up at our laws, denigrating the good name of our president and protecting the illegal aliens and terrorists we all want gone.
According to the White House OIP, President Trump directed the DEA and FBI to create a joint strike team to infiltrate the infamous drug-addled parties that notoriously follow the Oscars and to “make an example” of their hosts. The operation went off without a hitch, with the homes or privately-funded club parties of seven prominent liberals ending in shutdowns and arrests.
According to Madeleine Shwiskler, Deputy White House Propagandist:
“President Trump has attended some of these parties personally in the past and has often spoken of their heinous anti-government undertones and blatant drug use. These are exactly the kinds of events that the administration will be shutting down. Getting them on drug charges is much easier thatn prosecuting them for their crimes against the state.”
The celebrities arrested were booked outside the parties in mobile command centers and released so the fake news media wouldn’t have time to gather for photo ops or create their own narrative about what happened. As of this morning, nobody seems interested in reporting the event at all.
Arrested in the raid were Allison Janney, Bradley Cooper, Bette Midler, Seth Rogan, Drew Barrymore, Miley Cyrus and Justin Timberlake. They were all charged with providing safe haven for drug abuse, possession of various classes of substances, resisting arrest and inciting violence against the government. The drugs seized at the different parties included cocaine, molly, ecstasy, marijuana, heroin and methamphetamine. Rogan’s party also had large quantities of powerful psychotropic drugs like LSD, MDMA and the ubiquitous brain chemical DMT.
All of the defendants are to appear in federal court and face fines of up to $100K and 2-20 years in prison if convicted. Surely their high-powered lawyers will find ways to keep them out of jail, but this should end those horrible Oscar parties where rich snobs get together to get high and trash talk our president.